too much; overrated

Yup. what a morning. Forgot my lunch on the table, remembered halfway to the bus stop, probably would have had time to turn back and collect it but my track record with the bus led me to just keep truckin'; if I'm early the bus is late but if I'm on time it's early. This morning was just another example.

Reading Kent Haruf's "Plainsong", it's good. It's touching quite a few of my tender areas which is sad and uncomfortable but it's leading me to be more thankful for what I have today. Makes me wonder how many of the other students in this class are relating to the material. Or if any of them might be experiencing something akin to my 2005.

I finally got around to listening to K'naan's "Troubador," (which is amazing) and Kid Cudi's "Man on the Moon," (which is rather solid) straight through and I'm glad I did. You should too. "Man on the Moon" is packed with tight rhymes, weed references and some interesting philosophical points spread between the concept of dreams. "Troubador" is really, really moving. I hope every somali brother (or anyone from a war torn region) I know gives it a listen. Life and hope in the face of human suffering.

Plenty of sadness this morning but plenty of life as well. Chillin' to some Matisyahu; it's so different. It's no less valid and though I fall on the side of the minorities who reside in Israel I don't have a blind hatred for the normal people who live amidst the selfish majority. Whatever, it's American music anyway, which just reminds me that the art created in the society of those on top is very different than the art of those pushed to the bottom.

Literature class blows. I love reading but I like to choose what I read and I've got a lot on my plate right now. None of which involves reading Plainsong, regardless of how well it's written. The story is moving but it's a little contrived and seems to focus on some really sad aspects of human interaction. It strikes close to home for me and it's at least as uncomfortable as my own thoughts on other matters.

America wake UP! Being on top of the world isn't awesome, we're smashing the lives of the rest of the world with our ignorance, our doctrine of preemption and our primary interest: consumption (re: corporate interest). We don't want our government to take care of us (welfare, healthcare) because then they'd have power over us (and we're afraid they'd abuse it) but we're blind to the corporate reality within which we live. High fashion might be art, but fashion trends are a fool's bargain and a hypocrite's crutch. Who cares where it's from if it makes you feel good; who cares how you look if you're true to yourself?

WE the people have to take control of the government back and if we refuse to let it take care of us we have to at least let it control the unchecked power of this country, our corporations, their profits and unscrupulous leadership; not the other way around. But it's not comfortable. It's not easy. It's not normal. It is if we make it so. This is our culture and we can either shape it or we can be shaped by it. It's a choice, but if you're not informed, if you're not aware, it is made for you.

Of course I say this wearing store-bought clothing, talking about the music I like to listen to from the privileged position of waiting for my first class of the day. I see my friends and their facebook posts of the food they eat/make/buy - how blessed are the people I know? Sometimes I wish I could enjoy these same things, and sometimes I do (and I do eat/make/buy some amazing food, trust me) and sometimes I post about it; but most of the time I fear the joys that fill the lives of so many I know ring so hollow for me in my life.

I see plastic bottles and I think about the ocean (here | here), the lack of recyclability and the pollution that goes into making it.

I see the cars around me and I think about necessary these beasts of burden are to life in America. I think about our lifestyle and it makes me sick - thank god for freedom eh? I mean, here we are free to do how and what we choose but how many families are stuck in a life of working to pay the bills and feed the kids, barely scraping by - meanwhile nobody is raising their kids (regardless of the quality of life they can provide). Keeping the head above the poverty line, maintaining a certain standard of living - a standard that is bought and sold, exchanged in the form of stocks, credit and cash - all so a select few can reap the reward. A select few who would have you believe that they are where they are because they are so f'n awesome (and some of them are in their own way).

Perhaps G-d's got us all laid out, every meal, every cent we ever digest from the moment of our birth or before, but even then, we could be doing a better job with whatever free will we might or might not have. G-d is no excuse for us to be shitty to each other or the planet we share. G-d isn't a company or a designer label or a bottle of water. G-d isn't greed for oil and money. G-d isn't fossil fuels and the American way. I believe G-d wants us to thrive here, but this isn't thriving. This is a lie and there's too many idols to smash by myself.

"guess if I was a simple mind, everything would be fine." - Kid Cudi, Man on the Moon (title track)