Symbolic Waking Dream After Meaningful Experience

I have had a waking dream.

I have dreamt:

A wall of ash taking the shape of people and animals on it's leading edge - It's moving, they're moving - as fast the wall can advance. It shifts between shapes like leaders in an infinite amount of races. Rushing towards doomsday, rushing towards the end of existence. Fading from the front is like slipping into quicksand - at what point is it all at a loss?

But not all are arriving as such. A banner, I beacon or a sign-post. A standard upon which rests a lengthy oak staff . High above the lengthy column of followers (reds and oranges, uniforms or robes?): A red phoenix in an sphere. In it's iron cage the bird appears joyful, either mechanical or most pleased. The bearer of the standard wears a silly hat - it is four, black folded corners upon a white cap. Triangle/diamond shapes folded up on a half sphere. They were very different than anyone else.

When I saw the ash wall, I thought, "where am I?" I didn't feel represented, thought, "Have I fallen back into the disintegrating ash?" I looked upon the phoenix with admiration. I did not feel like I was a part of the ash.

I dreamt of an angel watching over me counting each action I make marking it's length with and without using numbers, colors. I saw him counting down, but not moving backwards. And, as well as also - never instead - like two angels. Outside my concept of time.

Time moving through itself. The end coming from it's beginning, the beginning crossing through towards the end. Perhaps circling back upon itself only to collide again.

I thought of the Judaeo-Christian-Islamic idea of judgement day. I looked up to a door in an archway where it was assumed that Jesus would be and it was empty; like it was his apartment and he was elsewhere. He was where he is supposed to be. I looked up and saw Mohammad(pbuh) praying for the ummah and all who would be saved by the mercy of ar-rahman.

This was happening on a desert plane seemingly nestled between the ever shifting ash-like images seen above and below, not a reflection but not a separation either; flowing like water and smoke.

[+-=#=-+] felt bigger than anyone's concept of GOD could contain - larger than perception itself. I didn't know where I stood and I worried about whether or not that meant I'd be consumed by the ash but for the first time since I ever imagined hell, I felt safe.

* * *

If our genes are codes that contain possible preferences and capabilities... Nature & Nurture - programmed for better or programmed for worse but given a choice. The better can choose worse, and the worse can strive for better. With time working forward and backward. The entirety seen as crystal clear from outside. All things known.

Beyond life, I felt alive.